A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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