Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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