Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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