I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
