Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
two words...techno handjob
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
