there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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