i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have tasted many bathrooms
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
