Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hippo gnu deer
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Houston, we have a squirter
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
