My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
