There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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