I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
