JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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