I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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