i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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