Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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