hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
