Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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