You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
