After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize