paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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