sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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