were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
