they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
