she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
