I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
