Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
