i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
