Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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