ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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