first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
