Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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