I smell stomach acid.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
