he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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