I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize