He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
