Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
