Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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