i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
