I think my vagina is haunted
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
