Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
