I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
