She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
