How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
