I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were trust falling into bushes
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
