the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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