So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
