WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the day after is always just damage control
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
