I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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