Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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