Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
