omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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