She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I need a beard to bite.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
