After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
