the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
