you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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