Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
