You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
