so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
