Your tits are I can't wait for
My liver just broke up with me...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize