Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
