do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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