Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
