6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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